“True Success is also to Endure the Betrayal of False Friends.” —–Byron M. Vidal
I’m Reminded That It’s Been A Month Since I Published Here 🙂
A few days ago I had a lively and sensible conversation with a veteran journalist who’s in his 7O’s. I told him that I am using the internet with the art of the sit-down only after many weeks or more than a month, or so because I often practice or make it a habit the art of nearly off the grid each and every day and I love the essentials of life each and every day. His response to me was “Wow.”
I don’t listen to music each and every day but when I do I make sure that I listen to music for many hours relentlessly. Right now, I’m listening to Bob Marley’s live performance music while thinking, reading, and writing and while the intense rain is happening.
Prior to listening to Bob Marley’s live performance for many hours tonight, I was listening for many hours repetitively to Marvin Gaye’s Got to Give It Up and Let’s Get It On; Michael Jackson’s You Rock My World, Rock With You, The Way You Make Me Feel, Remember The Time, Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough; Janet Jackson’s Together Again and All For You; and The Beatles’ Penny Lane. The Beatles’ Penny Lane is also one of the worthwhile songs.
Real Good Music and Dancing Keeps Me In Cool Eustress Mode. —–Byron M. Vidal
Nowadays, I often teach, dance, and get real wet in the rain with children and it’s a great feeling to hear from children that they really like you because they are saying you are a good influence and role model to them. When they do, they do their part, efforts, and they pursue you. Read the above photos. Kids can really tell, you can’t really lie to them for long. To leave the world a bit better. To know one life has breathed easier because You have lived—–this is to have succeeded.
Takeaways from Jason Dorsey’s Redefining Rich-Maverick Minute that’s Part of My Very Important Perspective in Life Before I Read it Today: My Shared Consciousness for a Long Period of Time
by Byron M. Vidal
Jason Dorsey’s friend had taken his company public. He was worth a fortune (think: winning the lottery every week for a year).
From Jason Dorsey’s friend, “I don’t judge my success based on our stock price or how much money in the bank—-or even what I leave to my kids. I judge my success based on how many of my employees leave our company to start their own business.”
From Jason Dorsey himself:
I found this shocking, not only because if I were in his shoes I’d at least get one fancy car, but also because his company is consistently rated a Best Place to Work in the entire state of Texas—-and that’s a big state. Yet here he is saying that success to him was all about empowering his own employees to leave his company and start their own entrepreneurial journey.
The more I thought about my own definition of success—-which over time has changed from a fast car to quality time at the park with my 3-year-old daughter—-the more I realize success is never achieved. It’s a journey of personal growth.
When we help others achieve their goals, like starting a company or a nonprofit, we give our employees the opportunity to re-create the same scenario with their own employees. The cycle continues, and generations benefit from it.
Encouraging employees to leave their jobs to start their own businesses flies in the face of an all-important employee metric: retention. But as my friend shared with me, the more he helps his employees develop the skill set and mindset needed to start their own businesses, the more talented employees he attracts to his own company.
Still from Jason Dorsey:
Success is not buying a sports car, taking your company public for $500 million or retiring early, but rather helping others to pave their own paths so they can impact the world in their own positive ways. Wealth is what we give to others to pass on through their own actions, lives and journeys.
And that is why I keep that old Corvette poster from eighth grade in my garage—-to remind me that how we define success changes as we do. (And maybe, just maybe, my daughter will want that poster someday. That, or she’ll think it’s cool I have a picture of an antique hanging on the wall!)
Sleeping, Thinking, and Speaking Well to Success
by Byron M. Vidal
1. SLEEPING WELL
2. THINKING WELL
The world’s most successful people have one thing in common: they think differently from everyone else. This is how John C. Maxwell introduces his New York Times bestseller, How Successful People Think.
- Thinking is a discipline. If you want to be better at it, you’ve got to work at it. Thinking well is the hardest work. Melt and trim the unnecessary fat and plant and reap from your thinking well.
- Spend time with people who challenge you. Smart thinkers expose themselves to different ideas and type of people.
- It’s one thing to have an idea, another to follow through. “Ideas have a short shelf-life and you must act on them before the expiration date.”
- Thoughts need time to develop. Don’t just settle on the first thing that comes to mind. Thoughts need to be shaped until they have substance and they need to stand the test of “clarity and questioning”
- Smart people collaborate with other smart people. Thinking with others has its benefits. It’s like allowing yourself a shortcut to experiencing everything and learning from them.
- Reject popular thinking (or not thinking at all)
- To appreciate others’ ideas, you need to value other ideas. Don’t think that you are always right. Be open to other ideas so you can have room to expand your own.
- Engage in reflective thinking to allow yourself perspective and confidence in your decision-making. As Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
- Get over negative self-talk. Winners think in terms of “I will” and “I can” Smart people see possibilities, and not limitations. Former baseball star Sam Ewing once said nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done.”
- At the end of the day, it’s important to remember we can all change the way we think.
Learning how to master the process of thinking well leads you to productive thinking. If you can develop the discipline of good thinking and turn it into a lifetime habit, then you will be successful and productive all your life.
3. SPEAKING WELL
Thinking is useless when we don’t use the best words and best tools for it. Think well and speak best with accuracy. Brevity is the soul of wit, as less is often more. The best we select our words, the more we improve, leverage, and maximize our thinking device. Like software, it’s GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out. Ludwig Wittgenstein said, “The limits of my language are the limits of my world.” Selecting the best words in every moment of your life with creative, innovative, and expressive best words that you can define with accuracy not with vagueness is a must. Select and define best words with accuracy daily or many times of the week, even if it is just an exercise.
When talking you must remember these things:
- Organize your thoughts. Think before you say anything
- Say what you mean
- Get to the point and say exactly what you want done
- Be concise and use the shortest, most familiar words
- Be real. Communicate clearly through your own personality and let the real you come through. People will be more convinced if you are more comfortable with yourself and what you represent.
- Speak in images. Use words that will help people visualize concepts.
Listening well is the other side of speaking well. In order to deliver the words that your audience want to hear, you must be able to feel their pulse and put yourself in their shoes.
- Show genuine interest and attention. Concentrate so you increase your retention and comprehension.
- Use your eyes to communicate. Look for feelings so you can see the real intentions not communicated verbally.
- Observe nonverbal signals so you can ask the right questions.
- Make the other person talk with ease and not fear being judged.
Not sleeping well for success, not thinking well, and not selecting the best words for every moment of your life is dangerous, as they encourage us to fool ourselves and others. I say, “Sleeping well for success, thinking well, and the habit of selective and usage of best words is the recipe of true success.”
“We all have, let’s say, two or three dozen massive pain points in our lives that everyone can relate to. I try to basically write about those, and then I try write about how I attempted to recover from them.” James Altucher
Tim Ferriss wrote, some of my most popular blog posts since 2007 have been the least time consuming but the most uncomfortable. To produce these, I usually ask myself:
“What am I embarrassed to be struggling with? And what am I doing about it?”
“The moment that you feel that, just possibly, you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself. That’s the moment you may be starting to get it right.” Neil Gaiman, University of the Arts commencement speech
Chef Jose Andres of National Geographic impact me well with these words from one of his 2015 writings, which I only read about half an hour ago: “Whatever you decide to do, just remember, as Winston Churchill said, “success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm,” so just keep trying and have fun.” Your Cool Eustress.